To start the conversation on building confidence, lets first look at the tops reasons for why low or diminished confidence occurs to begin with.
* Externalized things said to us that we believe that limit our power
*Trying something and failing
* Fear and trauma
*Loss of love and support
*Dysfunctional Inner Dialogue
*Not pushing oneself to try new things and therefore diminishing growth potential
For most of us, confidence is built and not born. When we go through struggle in life, often times our confidence can be shaken to the core. Intense change is one of the biggest things that can shake confidence, as our world is turned upside down. Divorce, deaths of loved ones, lay-offs are examples of changes that can really shake us. Basically, any change in the world that leads to having to reinvent oneself has the possibility of really shaking confidence.
Building confidence, therefore, is a practice. Maybe you have never had confidence. Maybe you have had it at one point and lost it. Maybe you have it in some areas and want it in others. Or perhaps, you have never lost it.
Either way, the way we keep growing our confidence is to practice. Confidence comes from doing things we are not confident in anyways. Once we do them enough, then we are confident. If you see someone on stage that is very confident, they probably have been on stage A LOT! Every once in awhile you may meet someone that is just a natural in that area, but I guarantee you there are other areas that are not natural for that person and they need to practice to have confidence.
How To Build Confidence
1) Make a list of things you want to be more confident in
2) Next make a list of how you can practice those things. Actually put the practice of these things in your calendar
3) Transform your internal dialogue. Be gentle with how you talk to yourself.
4) If major change has occurred in your life, honor the emotional challenge that comes with it and also work to find the opportunity in the change. Ask yourself, how could you reinvent yourself into an even better version of yourself.
5) When you do something challenging (even if you know you can do better), take time to internally praise yourself. You are doing something that will turn into confidence, give yourself internal rewards for doing this.
7) When you receive compliments, really take in the compliment. Allow yourself to fully receive it. Do not downplay it.
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