The Number One Thing to Look for In a Top Personal Development Coach is similar philosophical alignment and values on an approach to life.
Personal Development Coach Philosophy
Our philosophy is that personal development means developing the ENTIRE person. This means, improving your physical health and longevity, developing a stronger mental mind and endurance, as well as growing more as a spirit. Growth can be hard as we are faced to look at our ego, our shadow side and the “ugly” stuff that society calls bad (even though we think it is beautiful). Because of all of this, we feel that personal development should also include joy, pleasure and lightheartedness.
The shadow side (in case you are not familiar with this concept talked about by Carl Jung) includes traits and tendencies that are natural to human life. Because most of us our not taught that these traits/experiences are normal, we often times hide these traits from ourselves and the world (hence the term, shadow). Envy, gluttony, shame, guilt are examples of emotions that all humans experience from time to time, yet we are typically taught that these are normal, so we hide this part of ourselves from others and the world.
Guess, what? The more we hide these traits, the more that they can take control over us and impact our day to day happiness and success. Part of developing as a human being is finding the qualities that we are naturally good at and developing them further. It is also finding the areas including the mindset, emotion, thinking patterns and subconscious triggers that are holding us back.
Scarcity mentality is a great example of this. Many people that come to us to get help want to have more money and financial success. While most humans do not actually want to be consciously poor, many people limit their success simply by having subconscious stories about money that run in the back of their mind. When I looked at this in myself, I realized that even though I am already financially successful, I still had stories about “struggling” to make enough money due to a desire to relate to friends in my life that are financially struggling. I had a hidden belief that if I became more successful, that I would not be able to relate to those in my life that were struggling. And this belief kept me from growing for a long time, until I owned it, and brought it into consciousness (and worked with it with my coaches/teachers).
Therefore, part of really working as far as personal development goes is a willingness to look at the hard stuff and to realize that all humans have shame and guilt etc. These sorts of things do not make us special. What makes you special is being able to see that your arrangement of gifts and skill set is different than others (and we all have this). That you are uniquely special and uniquely brilliant (while equal to those others). When we work on our shadow, we find and project our light.
The reason why having a coach is so critical in this work is to help give us prompts and reflections. Ever write something and have someone review it? Oftentimes, others catch grammatical mistakes that we miss. It is often easier for others to see things in us that we miss. Feedback is so valuable. In addition to this, when we do see things that have been in shadow and admit them to another (as opposed to just ourselves) and find that the other person does not shame us, but instead celebrates our bravery and our work, it helps the shadow further lose power.
The way we coach is based upon the following principles:
1) You are uniquely brilliant and powerful (yet equal to all humans as far as worth and value)
2) If you were told you were “too much” or “too little” of something in your life, it is likely because it is your unique super power and should be developed.
3) Working on your shadow side helps prevent it from having so much power over you.
4) Developing your pleasure side is essential for growth and success.
5) Personal development never ends. There is always a way to grow more and experience life more fully.
Let’s talk about the pleasure component for a second.
When deciding amongst the top personal development coaches in the field, we encourage you to take a second to consider how important pleasure is to you. At femme meets fortune, we feel that pleasure is incredibly important. The experience of pleasure lets you know that you are in your body. Ever experience an orgasm when you are thinking about the task list and all that you have to do during intimate moments? Of course not. Ever remember a piece of cake that you ate so quickly that you did not take the time to taste the delicate flavors with every bite? Probably not. The ability to feel pleasure is connected to the ability to be embodied. When we are embodied in pleasure, we have less energy in our prefrontal cortex (the part of our brain involved with logic). While developing our logical mind is essential, it is also essential that learn to develop our creative mind. The creative mind provides solutions and strategies to problems of life in a very different way than our logical mind. The pleasure center is a way of connecting more easily to the creative side of our brain. This is why we also incorporate the discussion on pleasure into the conversation and the support we give to our personal development clients.
Our personal development work focuses on supporting female entrepreneurs who want to scale their business and their lives. If this sounds like you, you can check out our courses HERE!
With Deep Respect,
Dr. Diane (aka Diamond)